{"id":8209,"date":"2021-03-24T11:00:00","date_gmt":"2021-03-24T11:00:00","guid":{"rendered":"https:\/\/wellspring.ca\/alberta\/blog\/2021\/03\/24\/what-men-can-do\/"},"modified":"2024-09-11T20:32:37","modified_gmt":"2024-09-11T20:32:37","slug":"what-men-can-do","status":"publish","type":"post","link":"https:\/\/wellspring.ca\/alberta\/blog\/2021\/03\/24\/what-men-can-do\/","title":{"rendered":"What men CAN do!"},"content":{"rendered":"<ul>\n<li>\n\t\t\t\t\t\t\t\t\t\tMarch 25, 2021\n\t\t\t\t\t\t\t\t<\/li>\n<li>\n\t\t\t\tEvents\n\t\t\t\t\t\t\t\t<\/li>\n<\/ul>\n<h4><strong>By David Finch<\/strong><\/h4>\n<p>In my experience, men suck at dealing with emotions. Especially their own.<\/p>\n<p>We like to think we&rsquo;re strong. Invincible. Need to keep emotions in check. Can&rsquo;t cry. Don&rsquo;t need to talk to other men about feelings. That we don&rsquo;t have emotional needs.<\/p>\n<p>Wrong. Nope. What? Yes you can. Incorrect. Of course we have feelings.<\/p>\n<p>&ldquo;Quit feeling sorry for yourself,&rdquo; is an old saying. But it&rsquo;s wrong. &ldquo;Woe is me&rdquo; isn&rsquo;t a good long-term strategy, but &ldquo;feeling for yourself&rdquo; is the only way to live.<\/p>\n<p>&ldquo;Real men don&rsquo;t cry,&rdquo; is another guy script. But actually, real men DO cry. When a friend dies, or someone gets cancer, or when things are hard. Even when we are happy.<\/p>\n<p>Men can&rsquo;t always be powerful, in control and solving things. Doing stuff.<\/p>\n<p><img loading=\"lazy\" decoding=\"async\" width=\"594\" height=\"428\" src=\"https:\/\/wellspring.ca\/ab-test\/wp-content\/uploads\/sites\/27\/2023\/06\/blog-image-2.png\" alt=\"inline_377_https:\/\/wellspringalberta.ca\/wp-content\/uploads\/2021\/03\/blog-image.png\" loading=\"lazy\"><\/p>\n<p>One friend recently asked me what to do when I vent about the hardships in my&nbsp;life. My wife died recently, and he keeps trying to help me. We do stuff together, go for a beer and hang out. We&rsquo;ve built boats together. Talk about women.<\/p>\n<p>But he can&rsquo;t solve my problem. My wife and best friend is dead. He can&rsquo;t offer&nbsp;suggestions on how to get though this crisis &ndash; he&rsquo;s not been where I am. And besides, there&rsquo;s no checklist to tick off when a loved one dies. No solution. Stuff happens.<\/p>\n<p>But he can listen. Not try to solve. Notice his own uncomfortable emotions.&nbsp;Laugh at my dumb jokes. Help me solve a tool problem. Just be a friend.<\/p>\n<p>Sit there.<\/p>\n<p>Men can help each other when they can&rsquo;t &ldquo;do&rdquo; anything. Or fix anything.<\/p>\n<p>Initiate &ndash; A text or phone call. An invitation to lunch or a beer or a walk.<\/p>\n<p>Be there &ndash; Nothing hurts more than feeling that I&rsquo;m all alone.<\/p>\n<p>Call me out &ndash; When I pretend I&rsquo;m fine but everything about me screams &ldquo;I&rsquo;m&nbsp;going crazy&rdquo; then a brave friend asks, &ldquo;What&rsquo;s happening today?&rdquo;<\/p>\n<p>Talk about the future &ndash; Sometimes it&rsquo;s easy to get stuck in today.<\/p>\n<p>Suggest a book or a movie &ndash; Stories about how other people got through hard&nbsp;times can be inspirational. Instructional. Entertaining. Or at least distracting.<\/p>\n<p>Stay in contact &ndash; Feeling like no one cares is excruciating.<\/p>\n<p>Work on your own stuff &ndash; The more comfortable I get with living my whole range of emotions the easier it is for me to be okay when someone else is having a hard time.<\/p>\n<p>Sometimes all you can do is sit there and say, &ldquo;Yeah, it sucks!&rdquo;<\/p>\n<p>That&rsquo;s enough.<\/p>\n<p>&nbsp;<\/p>\n<p>&nbsp;<\/p>\n<p><em>Editor&#8217;s note: These tips can apply to anyone, not just men.<\/em><\/p>\n<figure>\n\t\t\t\t\t\t\t\t\t\t<img loading=\"lazy\" decoding=\"async\" width=\"640\" height=\"480\" src=\"https:\/\/wellspring.ca\/ab-test\/wp-content\/uploads\/sites\/27\/2023\/06\/IMG_8079.HEIC-1-7.jpeg\" alt=\"inline_976_https:\/\/wellspringalberta.ca\/wp-content\/uploads\/2021\/03\/IMG_8079.HEIC-1.jpeg\" loading=\"lazy\"><figcaption><\/figcaption><\/figure><\/p>\n","protected":false},"excerpt":{"rendered":"<p>In my experience, men suck at dealing with emotions. Especially their own. We like to think we\u2019re strong. Invincible. Need to keep emotions in check. Can\u2019t<br \/>\ncry. Don\u2019t need to talk to other men about feelings. That we don\u2019t have emotional needs. Wrong. Nope. What? Yes you can. Incorrect. Of course we have feelings.<\/p>\n","protected":false},"author":1,"featured_media":8210,"comment_status":"open","ping_status":"open","sticky":false,"template":"","format":"standard","meta":{"footnotes":""},"categories":[7],"tags":[],"location":[],"class_list":["post-8209","post","type-post","status-publish","format-standard","has-post-thumbnail","hentry","category-member-story"],"yoast_head":"<!-- This site is optimized with the Yoast SEO plugin v27.8 - https:\/\/yoast.com\/product\/yoast-seo-wordpress\/ -->\n<title>What men CAN do! - Wellspring Alberta<\/title>\n<meta name=\"robots\" content=\"index, follow, max-snippet:-1, max-image-preview:large, max-video-preview:-1\" \/>\n<link rel=\"canonical\" href=\"https:\/\/wellspring.ca\/alberta\/blog\/2021\/03\/24\/what-men-can-do\/\" \/>\n<meta property=\"og:locale\" content=\"en_US\" \/>\n<meta property=\"og:type\" content=\"article\" \/>\n<meta property=\"og:title\" content=\"What men CAN do! - Wellspring Alberta\" \/>\n<meta property=\"og:description\" content=\"In my experience, men suck at dealing with emotions. Especially their own. We like to think we\u2019re strong. Invincible. Need to keep emotions in check. Can\u2019t cry. Don\u2019t need to talk to other men about feelings. That we don\u2019t have emotional needs. Wrong. Nope. What? Yes you can. Incorrect. Of course we have feelings.\" \/>\n<meta property=\"og:url\" content=\"https:\/\/wellspring.ca\/alberta\/blog\/2021\/03\/24\/what-men-can-do\/\" \/>\n<meta property=\"og:site_name\" content=\"Wellspring Alberta\" \/>\n<meta property=\"article:published_time\" content=\"2021-03-24T11:00:00+00:00\" \/>\n<meta property=\"article:modified_time\" content=\"2024-09-11T20:32:37+00:00\" \/>\n<meta property=\"og:image\" content=\"https:\/\/wellspring.ca\/alberta\/wp-content\/uploads\/sites\/25\/2023\/08\/Fred-Camino-450x338-1-2.jpg\" \/>\n\t<meta property=\"og:image:width\" content=\"450\" \/>\n\t<meta property=\"og:image:height\" content=\"338\" \/>\n\t<meta property=\"og:image:type\" content=\"image\/jpeg\" \/>\n<meta name=\"author\" content=\"tommy\" \/>\n<meta name=\"twitter:card\" content=\"summary_large_image\" \/>\n<meta name=\"twitter:image\" content=\"https:\/\/wellspring.ca\/alberta\/wp-content\/uploads\/sites\/25\/2023\/08\/Fred-Camino-450x338-1-2.jpg\" \/>\n<meta name=\"twitter:label1\" content=\"Written by\" \/>\n\t<meta name=\"twitter:data1\" content=\"tommy\" \/>\n\t<meta name=\"twitter:label2\" content=\"Est. reading time\" \/>\n\t<meta name=\"twitter:data2\" content=\"2 minutes\" \/>\n<script type=\"application\/ld+json\" class=\"yoast-schema-graph\">{\"@context\":\"https:\\\/\\\/schema.org\",\"@graph\":[{\"@type\":\"Article\",\"@id\":\"https:\\\/\\\/wellspring.ca\\\/alberta\\\/blog\\\/2021\\\/03\\\/24\\\/what-men-can-do\\\/#article\",\"isPartOf\":{\"@id\":\"https:\\\/\\\/wellspring.ca\\\/alberta\\\/blog\\\/2021\\\/03\\\/24\\\/what-men-can-do\\\/\"},\"author\":{\"name\":\"tommy\",\"@id\":\"https:\\\/\\\/wellspring.ca\\\/alberta\\\/#\\\/schema\\\/person\\\/1dd9c880278f6b5ba9d891f8ad58a8e9\"},\"headline\":\"What men CAN do!\",\"datePublished\":\"2021-03-24T11:00:00+00:00\",\"dateModified\":\"2024-09-11T20:32:37+00:00\",\"mainEntityOfPage\":{\"@id\":\"https:\\\/\\\/wellspring.ca\\\/alberta\\\/blog\\\/2021\\\/03\\\/24\\\/what-men-can-do\\\/\"},\"wordCount\":502,\"commentCount\":1,\"publisher\":{\"@id\":\"https:\\\/\\\/wellspring.ca\\\/alberta\\\/#organization\"},\"image\":{\"@id\":\"https:\\\/\\\/wellspring.ca\\\/alberta\\\/blog\\\/2021\\\/03\\\/24\\\/what-men-can-do\\\/#primaryimage\"},\"thumbnailUrl\":\"https:\\\/\\\/wellspring.ca\\\/alberta\\\/wp-content\\\/uploads\\\/sites\\\/25\\\/2023\\\/08\\\/IMG_8079.HEIC-1-6.jpeg\",\"articleSection\":[\"Member Stories\"],\"inLanguage\":\"en-CA\",\"potentialAction\":[{\"@type\":\"CommentAction\",\"name\":\"Comment\",\"target\":[\"https:\\\/\\\/wellspring.ca\\\/alberta\\\/blog\\\/2021\\\/03\\\/24\\\/what-men-can-do\\\/#respond\"]}]},{\"@type\":\"WebPage\",\"@id\":\"https:\\\/\\\/wellspring.ca\\\/alberta\\\/blog\\\/2021\\\/03\\\/24\\\/what-men-can-do\\\/\",\"url\":\"https:\\\/\\\/wellspring.ca\\\/alberta\\\/blog\\\/2021\\\/03\\\/24\\\/what-men-can-do\\\/\",\"name\":\"What men CAN do! 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