{"id":8333,"date":"2019-03-25T16:13:50","date_gmt":"2019-03-25T16:13:50","guid":{"rendered":"https:\/\/wellspring.ca\/alberta\/blog\/2019\/03\/25\/good-looking-corpse\/"},"modified":"2019-03-25T16:13:50","modified_gmt":"2019-03-25T16:13:50","slug":"good-looking-corpse","status":"publish","type":"post","link":"https:\/\/wellspring.ca\/alberta\/blog\/2019\/03\/25\/good-looking-corpse\/","title":{"rendered":"Good Looking Corpse"},"content":{"rendered":"<ul>\n<li>\n\t\t\t\t\t\t\t\t\t\tMarch 25, 2019\n\t\t\t\t\t\t\t\t<\/li>\n<li>\n\t\t\t\tLiving with Cancer Blog\n\t\t\t\t\t\t\t\t<\/li>\n<\/ul>\n<h4>By Ian Robinson<\/h4>\n<p>&nbsp;<\/p>\n<p>When it comes to certain things &mdash; sushi, bourbon, marriage &mdash; I was initially resistant.<\/p>\n<p>Sushi? Awesome.<\/p>\n<p>Bourbon? Awesome.<\/p>\n<p>Marriage? Jury&rsquo;s still out. (My wife doesn&rsquo;t read this, right?)<\/p>\n<p>Same for salons.<\/p>\n<p>I was an old-school barber shop guy. Liked lying back with a hot towel on my face before a straight-razor shave. Leafing through piles of&nbsp;<em>Argosy<\/em>&nbsp;and&nbsp;<em>Playboys.<\/em>&nbsp;Listening to the old guys spinning yarns that might have even been true.<\/p>\n<p><img fetchpriority=\"high\" decoding=\"async\" src=\"https:\/\/wellspring.ca\/ab-test\/wp-content\/uploads\/sites\/27\/2023\/06\/good-looking-corpse-1.jpg\" alt=\"inline_645_https:\/\/wellspringalberta.ca\/wp-content\/uploads\/2021\/01\/good-looking-corpse.jpg\" width=\"500\" height=\"391\"><\/p>\n<p>I didn&rsquo;t change, but barbershops did.<\/p>\n<p>The good magazines disappeared, replaced by<em>&nbsp;GQ.&nbsp;<\/em>The old guys died; prices went up. Last barber shop I went to had a vacuum cleaner with that round fuzzy attachment, and when they were done cutting, they&rsquo;d vacuum your head.<\/p>\n<p>I don&rsquo;t need a lot of pampering, but that was a trifle industrial even for me.<\/p>\n<p>Now I do the salon thing. Recently, Tonya finished up with me when another stylist, Lauren, came over. &ldquo;I thought I recognized your voice,&rdquo; she said. &ldquo;I haven&rsquo;t seen you since &hellip;&rdquo;<\/p>\n<p>We started laughing.<\/p>\n<p>Because last time I&rsquo;d seen her was during the insanity in the immediate aftermath of my diagnosis.<\/p>\n<p>Without intervention, the cancer that spread to my bones would have killed me within months. While I&rsquo;d been told I was going to be graced with a couple years, my body and spirit weren&rsquo;t buying it. I felt doomed. Cancer seemed more powerful than any treatment.<\/p>\n<p>Did I fall to my knees in prayer?<\/p>\n<p>Confess my sins?<\/p>\n<p>Apologize to people I&rsquo;d wronged over the course of a life often lived carelessly?<\/p>\n<p>Nope.<\/p>\n<p>A recitation of my sins &mdash; even if I just stuck to Ian&rsquo;s Greatest Hits &mdash; would have taken longer than I thought I had left.<\/p>\n<p>Pray? Given the number of people expiring from cancer, most more worthy than I of deliverance, I&rsquo;m pretty sure that&rsquo;s not the way prayer works.<\/p>\n<p>Apology tour?<\/p>\n<p>Aw screw it. If I pissed you off you probably had it coming.<\/p>\n<p>So Priority 1 became &hellip; A haircut.<\/p>\n<p>My hair gets too long, I look like a guy stuck his finger in a light socket. If I dyed my hair red and bought some extra big shoes, I could get a job frightening children at birthday parties.<\/p>\n<p>Even with the heaping helping of awful on my plate, all I could focus on was a haircut. I didn&rsquo;t want to die disheveled. If I was going out, I wanted to go out looking sharp. Like the man said in the movie<em>&nbsp;Knock On Any Door<\/em>: &ldquo;Live fast, die young and leave a good-looking corpse.&rdquo;<\/p>\n<p>My wife drove me to the salon. I looked like a guy who&rsquo;d stared into the abyss and seen Death staring back and waving. I was on a cane with a plastic bucket under his arm. Even before chemo, I was dry heaving quantities of undetermined goo plus blood.<\/p>\n<p>Sat in Lauren&rsquo;s chair. Poor girl was horrified. Little terrified. Trying to keep it off her face. I was one of her regulars. Good tipper. We had great conversations. Laughed a lot. I wasn&rsquo;t that guy anymore.<\/p>\n<p>&ldquo;Got cancer,&rdquo; I said, sitting with the bucket in my lap. &ldquo;They tell me I got a couple years. Go quick. I don&rsquo;t want to puke blood in front of you.&rdquo;<\/p>\n<p>Fastest. Haircut. Ever.<\/p>\n<p>And a great one.<\/p>\n<p>Thanked her. Staggered out to enter a world of chemo and radiation and uncertainty and fear. But not gonna lie. Looking pretty good.<\/p>\n<p>To this day, I&rsquo;m not sure why that haircut loomed so large.<\/p>\n<p>Not like I&rsquo;m even that vain normally. Maybe it was my life was so out of control, I needed something I could control. Even it was only hair.<\/p>\n<p>So, what kind of crazy entered your life when you got diagnosed?<\/p>\n<p>You can respond here on the Wellspring blog or at&nbsp;<a href=\"mailto:ianthesunguy@gmail.com\">ianthesunguy@gmail.com<\/a>&nbsp;or by following and messaging me on Twitter at @IanRobinsonyyc<\/p><\/p>\n","protected":false},"excerpt":{"rendered":"<p>When it comes to certain things \u2014 sushi, bourbon, marriage \u2014 I was initially resistant.<\/p>\n<p>Sushi? Awesome.<\/p>\n<p>Bourbon? Awesome.<\/p>\n<p>Marriage? Jury\u2019s still out. (My wife doesn\u2019t read this, right?)<\/p>\n<p>Same for salons.<\/p>\n","protected":false},"author":1,"featured_media":8334,"comment_status":"open","ping_status":"open","sticky":false,"template":"","format":"standard","meta":{"footnotes":""},"categories":[8],"tags":[],"location":[],"class_list":["post-8333","post","type-post","status-publish","format-standard","has-post-thumbnail","hentry","category-our-inside-stories"],"yoast_head":"<!-- This site is optimized with the Yoast SEO plugin v27.8 - https:\/\/yoast.com\/product\/yoast-seo-wordpress\/ -->\n<title>Good Looking Corpse - Wellspring Alberta<\/title>\n<meta name=\"robots\" content=\"index, follow, max-snippet:-1, max-image-preview:large, max-video-preview:-1\" \/>\n<link rel=\"canonical\" href=\"https:\/\/wellspring.ca\/alberta\/blog\/2019\/03\/25\/good-looking-corpse\/\" \/>\n<meta property=\"og:locale\" content=\"en_US\" \/>\n<meta property=\"og:type\" content=\"article\" \/>\n<meta property=\"og:title\" content=\"Good Looking Corpse - Wellspring Alberta\" \/>\n<meta property=\"og:description\" content=\"When it comes to certain things \u2014 sushi, bourbon, marriage \u2014 I was initially resistant. 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