{"id":8351,"date":"2018-11-13T19:39:19","date_gmt":"2018-11-13T19:39:19","guid":{"rendered":"https:\/\/wellspring.ca\/alberta\/blog\/2018\/11\/13\/bad-news-sucks\/"},"modified":"2018-11-13T19:39:19","modified_gmt":"2018-11-13T19:39:19","slug":"bad-news-sucks","status":"publish","type":"post","link":"https:\/\/wellspring.ca\/alberta\/blog\/2018\/11\/13\/bad-news-sucks\/","title":{"rendered":"Bad news sucks!"},"content":{"rendered":"<ul>\n<li itemprop=\"datePublished\">\n\t\t\t\t\t\t\t\t\t\tNovember 13, 2018\n\t\t\t\t\t\t\t\t<\/li>\n<li itemprop=\"about\">\n\t\t\t\tLiving with Cancer Blog\n\t\t\t\t\t\t\t\t<\/li>\n<\/ul>\n<h4>By Janice C.<\/h4>\n<p>\u00a0<\/p>\n<p>I get testy right before test results. I tell my husband to plan not to be home during that tense period, I don\u2019t like when he\u2019s in my line of fire. It makes me feel terrible and guilty and I don\u2019t need that crap on top of all the mounting anxiety. Sometimes he listens and goes to stay with friends, or sometimes he just heads to the basement for a long period of mandatory evacuation. The kids come around and I can tell they are tentative too. I manage to put on my best face for them, but really I want to say, just leave me alone people! I need to brace myself for bad news.<\/p>\n<p>Last week the bad news came. The cancer is spreading. Fast. My husband broke down, but I was stoic for the whole conversation. I had braced myself for this. This is the devil I now know well. I asked what the next steps are and I can see by people\u2019s reaction that there aren\u2019t many good options left. Truth be told, I feel better this week, even with bad news, then last week when I was waiting for it.<\/p>\n<p>I think what people need to know is that unless you are on this heinous cancer road, you really don\u2019t understand. Don\u2019t take it personally, it just is. You don\u2019t know how it feels to have your future ripped out of your reach. Your future is now this murky path that has no long term picture. It may hold quicksand and you\u2019ll sink or it might have a cliff and you\u2019ll go overboard. If you\u2019re lucky it will have a meadow and you can lay down and stare at a tree and the sky \u2013 the only things that are still holding.<\/p>\n<p>I know I will regret being bitchy and difficult, this is not who I\u2019ve always been and not how I want to be remembered. But it is where I am today and I hope people who love me will love me anyway. And I hope they will remember that only I can shake up my brain and make it try to see the meadow.<\/p>\n<p>Tomorrow is a new day. I\u2019ll try to refocus.<\/p>\n","protected":false},"excerpt":{"rendered":"<p>I get testy right before test results. I tell my husband to plan not to be home during that tense period, I don\u2019t like when he\u2019s in my line of fire. It makes me feel terrible and guilty and I don\u2019t need that crap on top of all the mounting anxiety. <\/p>\n","protected":false},"author":1,"featured_media":8352,"comment_status":"open","ping_status":"open","sticky":false,"template":"","format":"standard","meta":{"footnotes":""},"categories":[8],"tags":[],"location":[],"class_list":["post-8351","post","type-post","status-publish","format-standard","has-post-thumbnail","hentry","category-our-inside-stories"],"yoast_head":"<!-- This site is optimized with the Yoast SEO plugin v28.1 - https:\/\/yoast.com\/product\/yoast-seo-wordpress\/ -->\n<title>Bad news sucks! - Wellspring Alberta<\/title>\n<meta name=\"robots\" content=\"index, follow, max-snippet:-1, max-image-preview:large, max-video-preview:-1\" \/>\n<link rel=\"canonical\" href=\"https:\/\/wellspring.ca\/alberta\/blog\/2018\/11\/13\/bad-news-sucks\/\" \/>\n<meta property=\"og:locale\" content=\"en_US\" \/>\n<meta property=\"og:type\" content=\"article\" \/>\n<meta property=\"og:title\" content=\"Bad news sucks! - Wellspring Alberta\" \/>\n<meta property=\"og:description\" content=\"I get testy right before test results. I tell my husband to plan not to be home during that tense period, I don\u2019t like when he\u2019s in my line of fire. 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