Nicole: The Life I Deserve

February 27, 2024

I was never equipped to manage this cancer…  I have been told I’m resilient. But, I’m tired and exhausted.

Since the summer of 2018 my cancer has been trying to kill me.

For me I have to accept that my nightmare won’t end. I have incurable Triple Negative Breast Cancer.  That is my reality.

Since the first tumour, that I found in my right breast when I was 31, my cancer has reoccurred four times. I am now 35.  I’m recently processing that I have metastatic breast cancer and the cancer has escaped the preventative treatments.

It’s not about being a braver, stronger, more optimistic or positive person. The reality is I don’t want to die, and I have to choose to take on the torture of treatment and it’s side effects in order to live.  If I stop treatments I die.  The new shift in my thought process is I have to accept the disease process and the damage it’s causing to my body and mind.  I have to hope and advocate to have quality of life, as I still want the life I believe I deserve.

I want happiness and joy, while living with cancer.

This is where Wellspring comes in. Wellspring is a community and I was warmly welcomed.  I always felt more hopeful after spending time there. My energy was recharged after my visits.

At Wellspring my energy can be placed in more constructive outlets. Such as being mindful in their yoga program, being creative and uninhibited in art therapy, glowing in reiki, therapeutic touch and meditation.  My mind can be freed to be open to the offered nutrition classes or to drum therapy.  I still have so many programs I have on my list to attend that Wellspring offers, especially aquafit.

Wellspring gives hope, joy, support, comradery, community and refuge. Here people are pulled out of their deepest, scariest, darkest thoughts and given a shimmer of something to look forward to. This can make all the difference of coping and not coping. I know because I’m one of these people.

I hope my story conveys how impactful Wellspring is in helping the life of someone living with cancer.  It has kept me grounded, while my world exploded into chaos, and continues to gives me a place I feel safe and not ashamed of my cancer.

Shared with permission by Wellspring Member, Nicole

One Response

  1. Nicole was one of the most beautiful souls in the world. She was like a magnet, you couldn’t help but gravitate toward her. It was truly a privilege to be one of her best friends and we all miss her dearly as we approach 1 year without her.
    Thank you Wellspring for all the love, kindness, and support you provided our Nikki throughout her years living with cancer. She made many friends through the young support group, and loved yoga classes and other creative sessions offered at Wellspring.
    Thank you for all the opportunities you provided Nikki that no other service or space could provide.

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