Although she credits her first mammogram at the age of 44 for saving her life, finding out she had breast cancer was a devastating blow for Rachel Swiednicki.
As a mother to an eight-year-old son, not only was she personally grasping her diagnosis, but she had to figure out a way to tell Adler and answer questions he may have. “The first thing that came to mind after hearing the news was my son and how he was going to handle it,” she says.
With the speed at which everything happened, from diagnosis to surgery and treatment, Rachel didn’t have the time to research how to break the news to Adler. Thankfully, a social worker assigned to Rachel’s care team suggested she contact Wellspring and sign up for the Children’s and Parents’ program at Birmingham Gilgan House in Oakville. “When I called Wellspring, they gave me advice over the phone on how to tell my son that weekend. They told me lots of helpful tips and key messages, like the importance of using the word ‘cancer’ instead of ‘sickness,’ to help normalize it,” she says.
While Rachel had some initial hesitations about exposing Adler to her diagnosis, she is glad she took the leap. “Your initial reaction is to protect your child from this information as it’s something you never want them to ever have to worry about, but at the end of the day, children are smart. My son knew something was off. I wasn’t being my usual cheerful self; I was very guarded,” she says.
At first, Adler struggled with the news of Rachel’s cancer diagnosis. He’d worry that his mom would no longer be alive when he came home from school. “He’d say things to me like, ‘I don’t want you to die,’ so I’d have to drive to school to pick him up early,” she says. But that all changed when Rachel and Adler walked through Wellspring’s doors.
Met with the warm faces of volunteers and staff on a Thursday night, parents and children affected by cancer gathered around the table in Wellspring’s kitchen to share a meal before the program began. They then separated into two groups, where through therapeutic play, games, and crafts, the children developed skills and tools to understand a cancer diagnosis better and learn to express their feelings. The parents met in a separate room to receive parenting support and information specific to cancer. “Everybody looked forward to walking through that door because it felt like coming home. We’d all gather around the table and talk about normal life stuff. It was so nice not to worry about what would be for dinner that night. We could sit, relax, and enjoy a meal together. It was like having a night off from our life,” Rachel says.
Isolation is a common experience for children whose parents have been diagnosed with cancer, with many children feeling like they are going through the journey alone. Wellsprings Children’s and Parents’ program helps to address this through the group-based approach to each session. “There’s a lot of normalcy, healing, and calm about Wellspring. This was so important for my son because he felt isolated and alone. After all, no other kids were going through the same journey as him. At Wellspring, he had other kids to relate to. It taught him that it’s ok to ask questions about cancer, it’s ok to express your feelings and fears,” Rachel says.
Over six weeks, each 90-minute session is designed to support children between the ages of five and 12, improving their coping strategies and understanding of cancer while reducing fear and uncertainty. “We knew every Thursday was a ‘Wellspring Day,’ and all the kids were so excited about it. It’s weird to say it because you’re going through cancer, but it brought relief during a hard time. It gave my son and me a safe space to talk about cancer with other families who were going through a similar journey,” Rachel says.
For the parents, meeting in a group setting with a counsellor helped equip them with tools to communicate their diagnosis with their children. “Wellspring provided a wealth of information. They prepared me with key messages, things like: this cancer is treatable; I am going to keep on fighting; this is a journey; I’m going to be fatigued and look different for a while… but all of this doesn’t mean that mommy still can’t be there for you. And if my son has questions, he could ask me anything. For instance, they talk about life before cancer and life after cancer for the kids. One of Adler’s main concerns was, ‘Who is going to take care of me if something happens to you?’ so I walked him through the plan if something was to happen,” she says.
While Rachel and Adler have completed the Children’s and Parents’ program, they continue to make the most of Wellspring’s free-of-charge services. “I’ve embraced the Wellspring lifestyle because I want to learn everything there is to know and really make the most of the situation because while it isn’t great news, it’s an opportunity. Wellspring helped me see that, and now I definitely don’t feel so alone. I know there’s a place I can go to answer my questions,” she says.
If you are a parent who has recently been diagnosed with cancer, consider signing up for the Children’s and Parents’ program.
2 Responses
Rachel, your strength of character, empathetic nature and positivity are all a part of your being. Congratulations for your actions. I always knew you were special. John
Wonderful resource and article. I know Rachel personally and I am so happy she received your