Bring It

November 28, 2018
  • November 28, 2018
  • Living with Cancer Blog

By Ian Robinson (in conversation with Pat)

 

That thing where you are told you have advanced cancer and every indication is, you don’t have much time. So you get your things in order (backyard projects are shelved, that hot rod you planned to own – not going to happen), and you get ready to die. You literally grit your teeth, clench your jaw and go headlong into that deep dark dying zone. You might even start rapidly cashing in your RRSPs. Don’t need those. You eat like crap. Drink too much scotch. Draw a curtain around yourself and block out friends, foes and loved ones trying to douse you with love. Grrrr … get away.

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And then … lo and behold … it turns out that you are tougher than they thought (you knew this but they obviously didn’t). Treatment is working. Your cancer holding steady. And so one day, quite unexpectedly, your oncologist is behaving strangely optimistic. Her demeanour has changed. Her messaging is more upbeat. She wants you to quit eating like crap and start planning your summer vacation.

Holy shit! What’s a guy to do with that? How do you unclench your jaw? How do you go from – BRING IT! I GOT THIS DYING THING! To … say what? Backyard BBQ station is back on? Dream trip to London is a definite maybe. Honey, can I have the Hot Rod?

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Cancer is mindfuck. You have time, you don’t have time. You have choices, no wait, not that choice. Lay down, get up, back up, go forward, what the hell?

And so after all that, I make a case for live in the moment. I mean everyone – do it! It really is all any of us has.

3 Responses

  1. OMG Ian, you make me laugh and cry all at the same try every time I read one of your blogs. Thanks for this one – it’s a good one. They are all good ones but this one is a better good one : ) – live in the moment. We all need that reminder.

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