The past two years have been one of the toughest periods of my life, and though I’m nowhere near through it, I’ve made it this far, and that alone means a lot to me.
In December 2023, I was diagnosed with nasopharyngeal cancer at the age of 49. At first, when I heard them say cancer, I thought they had the wrong person — the wrong chart — they couldn’t mean me! When they said it was Stage 4, I really panicked, thinking this could mean I’m dying, but my oncologist reassured me that stages in this cancer are different than other cancers. This could be curable if I committed to treatment and did all I could to stay strong and hopeful. I agreed, and underwent weeks of chemotherapy and radiation, never imagining it could possibly be so hard.
Now, over two years later, my most recent scan is the first one that has truly given me a sense of relief, as no cancer was detected. While this is a milestone I am deeply grateful for, the journey is far from over. Though on the outside I look healed, inside I still feel broken. I am still dealing with a number of ongoing complications and side effects from radiation. There are also a few more procedures and surgeries ahead of me. Some days are harder than others, and recovery is not always straightforward.
Even so, I’ve learned that mindset matters more than I ever realized, so I continue to push aside the negative thoughts and remind myself to stay positive. There are moments where I feel stuck in a cloudy fog, worrying about the future and cancer coming back, and it takes real effort to pull myself out of that space, but I do it. I keep rising from the fog and looking toward the light of the sun.
One thing cancer has given me is a reset button in life. I now see things more clearly: what matters most and how precious it is to have time with family and friends.
What has helped me the most in my journey is the support of my family, my friends and Wellspring Alberta.
When I first walked into Wellspring, I didn’t know what to expect, but the staff and volunteers were so kind, welcoming, and genuine. They made me feel comfortable sharing my story, and with open hearts, they guided me into the Wellspring family.
I still remember walking back to my car after that first visit and saying to myself, “This is where I want to be, a safe space to heal. This is where I can help myself, and maybe one day, I can give back as a volunteer too.” That moment has stayed with me.
Wellspring has given my days purpose in ways I didn’t expect. I needed to wake up and have something to look forward to. I needed a distraction from the broken person I saw in the mirror. And for my husband and son too — I didn’t want them to come home to a sad, negative person; I wanted to be better for myself and for them.
In the Supportive Conversations program, I feel heard and cared for. I’ve been able to release a tsunami of emotions and letting it all out brought huge relief. In that room, I feel we are all little warriors fighting to get up and over this hill that is cancer. Some are just circling the bottom; they haven’t started treatment. Some are at the top, feeling like they’ve made it. And some are still climbing — they are in the hard part of the journey. We are all different but also the same in many ways. And if we are willing to come together and express our feelings, releasing the pain, fear and anxiety, then we are not alone. This is powerful.
In Tai Chi, I am learning what it is to flow. This is not something I’ve done much in my life. I can move at my own pace without judgment, and I appreciate that there is room for laughter when I can’t follow every step.
In the Sound Meditation, I’ve found moments of calm, an important tool to help ease my anxiety.
The Reiki energy session at Wellspring was especially meaningful for me. It helped me connect to a very deep place within myself, almost like facing the hidden fears in my soul. During that session, I found myself unexpectedly in tears, as it brought me back to those intense moments with all the healthcare professionals who cared for me, from paramedics to nurses, ER staff, doctors, and specialists. In that moment, I felt overwhelming gratitude for all those incredible people who have supported me through my journey.
I also found Wellspring’s Money Matters meeting incredibly helpful. The social worker guided me through the practical and financial side of recovery and gave me direction on how to mentally prepare for what comes next. That support helped reduce my uncertainty and gave me more confidence moving forward.
All these Wellspring programs have helped me step out of my comfort zone, reconnect with myself, and feel more like a person again — not just a patient.
I’ve learned that I need to surround myself with positive energy and continue to lift myself up, even on difficult days. I choose to focus on gratitude, because that helps me stay grounded and think more clearly.
I am not healed… I am healing. This is only the beginning of my journey; there is still a long road ahead, and I’ve learned that recovery is not linear. I continue to face challenges every day, still fighting this battle one step at a time. But I am here and stronger than I ever thought I could be. And if sharing my story can help even one person feel less alone, then I know this journey is worth it.
